Fr. Luisito Cabrera doesn’t look 62.
Maybe it’s his youthful, exuberant smile underneath a thick, handlebar mustache that features just a hint of gray. Or maybe it’s the fact he spent the past six years living, studying and praying with men whose parents are younger than him.
Either way, there’s an enthusiastic peace about the newest priest for the Diocese of Des Moines. Cabrera says this was always the plan.
“I’m not your traditional one,” Cabrera says. “But we’re all answering the same call to serve.”
Cabrera says he first heard that call as a teenager growing up in the Philippines. He initially discerned with the Salesians of St. John Bosco, joining their high school seminary at the age of 15. A few years later, Cabrera immigrated to New York City, spending some time with the Capuchin Franciscans.
But God ultimately called him to marriage, Cabrera said, and he ended up graduating from St. John’s University with a degree in communications and journalism.
Then he met Ruth Anne. Or Rae, as Cabrera calls her.
“I’m not your traditional one. But we’re all answering the same call to serve.” — Fr. Luisito Cabrera
Originally from the south side of Des Moines, she had moved to New York City to pursue stage acting. The two dated for four years – which included Rae converting to Catholicism, with Cabrera as her confirmation sponsor – and got married at the Church of St. Francis Xavier in Manhattan.
“After you get married, you say, ‘Well, that’s it for my [priestly] vocation, right?’ It’s out the window,” Cabrera said. “God had other plans that I couldn’t see at the time. And my wife was meant to play a very, very important role in that vocation.”
The two lived two blocks from Times Square and later in Geneva, Switzerland, with Cabrera working in publishing and eventually communications and public affairs for the United Nations. They never had children, though adoption was on the table.
Then, in 2016, while Cabrera was in California to take care of his ailing mother, his sister-in-law called him with horrible news.
Rae, as Cabrera liked to call her, had suffered sudden cardiac arrest. She was gone.
“I was devastated,” Cabrera said.
The mourning process taught him “every possession that we have in this life that we feel is so precious means absolutely nothing. There’s only one thing that matters. And that is your relationship with God.”
As the pain eased and and Cabrera returned to focusing primarily on that relationship, the stirring in his heart he first felt as a 15-year-old in the Philippines came back. Bishop Richard Pates of the Diocese of Des Moines was happy to sponsor him. And at age 56, Cabrera entered seminary formation a third time.
Catholic teaching asserts that marriage is “until death do us part.” A widowed man with no minor dependents can become a priest — but he is still subject to the in-depth process of discernment and formation that takes place in seminary.
“Every possession that we have in this life that we feel is so precious means absolutely nothing. There’s only one thing that matters. And that is your relationship with God.” — Fr. Luisito Cabrera, Diocese of Des Moines
It hasn’t been easy, Cabrera said. Philosophy classes with men less than half his age were difficult. A bout of COVID-19 hospitalized him for weeks in 2021. But Cabrera is sure God wanted him as a priest all along.
Just one who will be able to relate to his married parishioners uniquely.
“The discernment process never really stops,” said Cabrera, whose first assignment is at Corpus Christi Catholic Church in Council Bluffs, Iowa. “It continues on after you’ve made one decision. You continue to discern within the decision that you made. And you can only do that really, really well if you do it in the light of God’s truth.”
God’s truth led him to Rae, Cabrera said. And it ultimately led him to the priesthood. He was married to a woman; now, he’s married to the Church.
But Rae’s memory still keeps him centered. Her initials are on Cabrera’s chalice. The first Mass he offers each morning is for her, with permission from Bishop William Joensen.
Cabrera celebrated his second Mass as a priest at the home of his elderly mother in Indianapolis. Then came a return to the Philippines, where he led the liturgy at his high school seminary and visited extended family.
“It’s God who has done everything for me,” Cabrera said. “But Rae is now an instrument for making sure that I am where I’m supposed to be.”